Camping has been a tradition for families ever since the dawn of nature. There’s something about getting out and enjoying the fresh air of the great outdoors, listening to the sound of the wind as it courses through the pine trees. Or how about the sound of the crashing of waves against the beach? Another wonderful sound is the sound of laughter as you roll along the highway in your Cruise America rental RV—no matter what your destination may be. We have put a few funny quips together that may increase the sound of that family laughter:
• Once you pull into your camping spot, place a tuba on the picnic table beside your RV. This will assure that the campsites on either side of you will remain vacant.
• If you should decide to smoke any of the fish you catch, do not inhale!
• If you like the idea of sleeping in a down-filled bedroll bag but cannot afford it, you can duplicate the sensation by crawling into a large plastic bag full of geese.
• By baking a potato in the fire for one hour, you can create a great side dish. By baking that same potato for three hours, you can make your own hockey puck!
• One of the best forms of kindling to start your fire is the guitar of the noisy teenager in the campsite beside you.
• Recently, RVers in Alaska have been warned that they must wear tiny bells on their clothing when they are out hiking in the woods, as they scare away most types of bears. Hikers are also advised to keep their eye on the ground for Grizzly bear droppings. If you don’t know how to tell if they’re Grizzly droppings, they are the ones with tiny bells in them.
• Nature experts have determined that, while the siting of a bald eagle is an inspiration for any RVer, the sight of a bald RVer does absolutely nothing for an eagle.
• Before purchasing any clothing to take on your camping trip, check the label in back to assure that it says, “Beat on a rock in stream.”
• While on an RV trip, an elderly couple stopped for lunch at a cozy looking roadside restaurant. Once they had finished, they got back on the road. They had been driving for about fifteen minutes when the woman realized she’d left her glasses on the table. The man was incensed, and moaned and groaned all the way back to the eatery, in true “grumpy old man” style. When he dropped her off to go inside to retrieve her glasses, he rolled down the window and exclaimed, “As long as you’re going in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.”
• While hiking back to camp, the distance of your RV remains constant as dusk approaches.
• While hiking, the probability of getting diarrhea increases exponentially with the square of the thistle content of the local vegetation.
• The width of the backpack straps decreases the further you hike. Conversely, the weight of the backpack increases with distance.
• All foods assume uniform texture, appearance and taste when freeze-dried.
• Remember that all tree branches will grow out of the trunk at the exact height of your head. Males, be careful, as they will also grow at the height of your groin.
• The sun sets 3.5 times quicker when you are trying to set up camp.
• A highway patrol officer approached an RVer who was pulled off the side of the road, throwing garbage from his class C RV into the ditch. “What are you doing?” asked the officer. “Don’t you see the sign right above your head?” That’s why I’m doing it here, said the man, pointing to the sign which read, FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.
Always rent a motorhome for double the time you think you’ll want it, because once you get back home, you aren’t going to want to stop sleeping in it. Oh, and that’s not a joke, just a fact!
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